Thursday, April 9, 2015

A "brief" note on the Vogue video

As usual, am the erratic blogger who writes only when she needs to vent out. Blogs are a safe place- no one will read if they don't want to and people who want to, will read it any way.

So, in the March of 2015, a video featuring Deepika Padukone, created a lot of ruckus on social media. Some stood by it, some opposed it - the interesting bit, however, was that those who opposed it, were not really united- the group included religious activists who still believe women are goddesses and should be protected in house and the others who thought it challenged patriarchy for the sake of it and was indeed was a feminist video through the lens of patriarchy; still others who just objected on "sex outside marriage"; and many more ill-defined clusters. Of course, as expected, some feminists came up in support of the video, not completely understanding why points were being raised against such a beautiful video.

The video is beautiful, undoubtedly. The photography, editing, even some parts of the script. It has a strong message of women empowerment too. However, when you are as big a brand as Vogue, when you are trying to influence society in something as big as women empowerment, it is crucial that the spill-overs are taken care of, even before such a video is aired. From a branding perspective, Vogue got quite an impetus- I have never heard the name so many times as I have over the past few days. However, here's my two pence on why criticism was as well deserved as applaud:

Sex outside marriage is absolutely fine, as long as the stakeholders involved, are comfortable with it- let's not pretend that we all have the same sexual preferences and same value systems. Taking down the video because of this one point, makes no sense!

Moving on to choices, they come with a lot of responsibilities- as much as we want to deny other things that affect our choices, we can't ignore them- "my pleasure, your pain" - while we can debate on whether "you" is a man or a woman or a vehicle of patriarchy, if my choice hurts someone else, am not sure that's responsible choosing. (Of course am not talking about choices like whether to add your husband's name to yours or wear your mangalsutra around- these are quite a matter or personal preference and also a significance of your value system- these shouldn't hurt anyone.) The tussle between your choice and my choice is a pertinent one, where my choice might deter someone else from exercising their choices. We need to be mindful of such strong statements on the minds of teens- as a society, we should encourage people to make responsible choices- not just choices. Which is why, neither "size zero" or "size 15" is an apt/responsible choice- we cannot encourage youth to be either anorexic or obese! I am well aware of the limitations that a 2 minutes video has- which is why the script and direction should be apt and precise, which is why casting is as important as dubbing- Deepika doesn't have an image that really fits into the "thinking female" character- her delivery seems adamant and complaining- I would blame the director for this! (In this regard, let me remind you of a monologue by Kalki Koechilin on Women's day, not so many years back, which was perfect in delivering what it wanted to.) The video seemed more about making an independent choice, rather than being considerate and sensitive about other people, or even oneself- that is the problem patriarchy had. The question to ask is, are we replacing patriarchy with femi-nazi?

The second and more important critique of the video is the the target audience- those that this video targets are the urban, well-to-do women, who are intelligent and regularly exercise their choices about whether to change their names or to wear a ring. If this isn't the target audience, I am not sure who is- if the video relied on media to translate it to other languages, to help women who don't speak English think, I wouldn't call it wise- the beauty and the intent of the script would be lost in translation. And that is exactly my problem- whether we like it or not, speaking and understanding English has become a necessary condition for being well-educated in India. I don't think I can emphasize enough on the importance of education when it comes to having choices. The video ignores this bit- which is also an indicator of its target audience- the well-educated urban female.

 Well-educated women, generally don't have too hard a time, choosing from the choices that video enlists. The choice for us (I assume that I am within Vogue's target audience) is really to talk about scars like child abuse- shame the abuser, even though (s)he might have been the most popular person while you were growing up; or take a stand and fight for your rights when your colleagues/clients/senior management make inappropriate comments/suggestions in the work place; or to fight for your rights for that promotion that you have been denied because of your imminent maternity leave- those are the choices that really matter to us and those are still the discussions we are afraid to have. You know why? Because the rest of the society thinks women like us are already empowered, because we have the choices that the video has listed. This is one of the examples of material that go against feminism for being an equal fight for all genders, and makes it one for only females. Men who have always been appreciative of the fact that women don't get represented enough in all walks of life, suddenly tell us that we don't need "special treatment" any more because our choices and opportunities were as much as men had. While that is true to some extent, I am yet to come across a man who has been insulted at work for being a man.

So, what did the video do? It targeted the urban female and told them about the choices that they have- something they already were well aware of. It didn't ask them to go beyond and think about the choices that they are still denied. It didn't convey what it wanted to say, to the women who don't understand that they have these choices. Who gained? Who lost?

It's high time we realize that when some of us talk about feminism, what we really talk about is justice. We talk for men who have so-called feminine traits; we talk for the lesbians, the gays, the queers, the non-conformists. We talk about giving a little extra hand to people who need it. However, when we talk so much, we tread on the fine like of being understood or being misunderstood. Being misunderstood, costs the whole fight, sets us back on various parameters. And that is when, criticism against such videos, set the balance right. So all of you who have said that we should not bash up the video so badly, I hope this helps- I appreciate your point of view and support it too. It's just that, we want to tell the society that feminism isn't just about "My Choice".

Sunday, January 19, 2014

Married to Mr. Darcy?

So ya! I got married by the way. And since then I've only kept on wondering if I've found Mr. Darcy.

How Ajit is indeed like Mr. Darcy
1. He's that weird and reserved and grows better with acquaintance. He'll disagree to this but well, he can't see himself.
2. He's loving and compassionate. And yes, he wouldn't give into his feelings till he absolutely loves you.
3. He cares for his family.
4. He's tall and handsome.
5. Doesn't judge by the money you have or company you keep. Instead values you for your own opinions.
6. At times, he's open to change and acknowledge that he was wrong.

How Darcy's still better.
1. He owns Pemberley.
2. He's from the early 18th c. and speaks with such grandeur that's the mark of a true Brit gentleman!
3. He doesn't like to dance.
4. He's no good with small talk.
5. He's not real.
6. He's Mr. Darcy!

How Ajit beats Darcy.
1. He's real.

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

(Untitled)

In the stretch between Jogeshwari n Goregaon
I saw the worker-
Lying on his back,
Blank look in the eyes,
Gazing at the 60 watt bulb
On the side.

The gaze wandered to a high-rise nearby
N turned in a fixed stare.
Mother n son,
Behind the fancy lit balcony.
His phone burst...
into a chikni chameli tune.
The phone was answered,
without shifting the gaze.
His wife called,
Their son was ill.

On the next train to bilaspur
he'd be home.
With the few pennies Bombay threw at him,
He'd disappear into the darkness
With only the flickering light of the train.
With fear of losing a son,
With the fear of seeing another imagery-
Of mother and son.

Monday, June 20, 2011

The Perfect Man

Well for starters, he HAS to be imperfect. Perfection is way too boring! But it seems that a lot of people are interested in knowing what girls/women want in their partners. "Wants" vary enormously (pun intended) but I guess something we (the female sect) all agree on is that we need your time and your ear and your support. Nah, not that we are very good at all that but we try.. and honestly, we'd be ok even if you're not all that but just make an effort. After all if we are ready to get bored over your latest car or gizmo or a "toy" (pun intended again!), well we deserve the same respect back. Don't get me wrong, am not saying that you need to be interested- I can't get myself interested in anything that am not doing hands-on but well.. like you pretend to be awake and listening alert in a boring class, just pretend. It doesn't hurt or does it?!

And if you are of the self-righteous kind who "don't do what they don't mean" type, hard luck kiddo, the next time in bed, we can say.. well the same thing, huh?! Basically what am trying to say is perhaps, we also have ways to get back at you and going by your "morals", you'll just make the game tougher for you. Don't trust me? Be my guest, date any girl who doesn't say "mere pati mera malik" (in a nasal tone) and be prepared for it, power unleashed!

The next big complain a girl has about her partner? (Hmm... well unfortunately Pyaar ka Punchnama isn't a good enough guide to the mysteries in a woman's head basically because there are no more mysteries!) Here's what the next thing is: NOTHING! Get real man, who cares as long as you allow us to blabber and be patient? We are more in love with talking than with you. So get your head straight- fake it or leave it. After all, even you guys need to learn how to fake it at times (pun not intended very seriously!) and that's why we love Chandler Bing!


P.S. Spare me for the dirty talk, common knowledge says that that's what interests guys the most. Am not the judge!

P.P.S. In short- fake it!! ;)

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Never mind- we don't!

Irom Sharmilla, they won't care about you. All they are interested is in bloody TRP. Ramdev and Hazare get recognition because of their political motives. Binayak Sen didn't have any, nor have you. They call themselves the media and they are indeed but they don't care about what you and I want. They want to unite people against corruption. Tell me, who checks their corruption, them being sold off to and being petted by cheap politics? And when some very few stand up, trying acting for what the media stands, J. Dey is shot 9 times to death. And then again they talk of insurgency problems and Naxals attacks. Today is the 3rd day when a person has been killed by the Naxals- it's 3/3 for the last 3 days! You think they'll solve your problem if you fast? No they won't. They won't even if you go attack the parliament. They just want money and the media wants to make money "uniting against corruption". Basically, that's what our politics and our "responsible media" is into- MONEY. You and I are not money-minded. Nor are the Naxalites (they are WRONG but they are not money-minded). So people will condemn us while supporting Ramdev. Forgive them Irom, they are just humans- humans who have been blessed with a heart smaller than you and monetarily more inclined. Just hope they are blessed in the next life. Amen.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Why a career in finance?

People having been asking me off late what this craze for is and why I have it. They wonder if it's for the money or for the "status". I say no and well, here's why:
  • The most important and interesting part about finance according to me is how people act to news and price levels of the index and the stock. This in short is the behavioral aspect of finance and when you as a fund manager put out strategies, you essentially take into account this aspect (though you might not be aware of it).
  • The financial intuition and the logic behind every "buy" and "sell".
  • Numbers, the next part of the game. And mostly anyone who's logically sound loves numbers (i say mostly, so don't hold anything against me- my mom is one of the most logical people i know and she doesn't understand or love numbers). Am no different (not to mean that am boasting about my logical ability but then am surely above the average). Numbers and data are the biggest proofs in the world, at least this world that we deal in.
  • Coding: the next best or may be even better than number crunching.
  • The client interface: you research, innovate, sell your ideas. The selling is equally fun and entertaining provided you know your research in and out. And hence, the great thing about finance is the research. You can tell me that most firms research but I'd say finance firms or specially the strategy divisions of finance firms research the faster than most industries sheerly because of the market sentiments governed by the behavioral aspects of people. So if you love research, finance is great for you- you have more scope of learning something new everyday here than anywhere else.
  • The money: oh no, not because of your salary but because you get to see how money moves and how money is created in the system. That's something extremely interesting for any economist.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Touchwood

Till date I've got whatever I wanted from life but will life always be this kind?
Till date I've got whatever I wanted from life but will life always be this kind?

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

সঁখি ভাবনা কাহারে বলে?

সঁখি যাতনা কাহারে বলে?

তোমরা যে বলো দিবস ও রজনী

ভালবাসা ভালবাসা...

সখি ভালবাসা কারে কয়?

সে কি কেবলই যাতনাময়

সে কি কেবলই চোখের জল

সে কি কেবল এ দুঃখের শ্বাস


লোকে তবে তরে কি সুখেরই তরে

এমন দুখেরও আঁশ





আমার চোখেতো সকলই শোভন

সকলই নবীন, সকলই বিমল

শুনীল আকাশ, শ্যানল কানন

বিসম জোসনা, কুসুম কোমল

সকলই আমারই মত তারা

কেবলই হাসে, কেবলই গায়

হাসিয়া খেলিয়া মরিতে চায়



না জানে বেদন, না জানে রোদন

না জানে সাধের যাতনা যাতন





ফুল সে হাসিতে হাসিতে ঝরে

জোসনা হাসিয়া মিলায় যায়

হাসিতে হাসিতে আলোক সাগরে

আকাশের ও তারা দেয়াবে তাই

আমার মত সুখে কে আছে

আয় সখি আয় আমার কাছে



সখি হৃদয়ের সুখের দান

শুনিয়া তোদের জোড়াবে প্রান



প্রতিদিন যদি কাদিবে কেবল

একদিন নয় হাসিবে তোরা

একদিন নয় বিষাদ ভুলিয়া, সকলে মিলিয়া

গাহিব মোরা...

ভাবনা কাহারে বলে?

সঁখি যাতনা কাহারে বলে?

তোমরা যে বলো দিবস ও রজনী

ভালবাসা ভালবাসা...

সখি ভালবাসা কারে কয়?

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Tobu... Mone Rekho

Tobu Mone rekho jodi doore jai chole.
Jodi puratono prem dhaka pore jaye nobopremojale.
Jodi thaki kachhakachhi,
Dekhite na pao chhaya'r moton achhi na achhi-
Tobu mone rekho.
Jodi jol ashe ankhipate,
Akdin jodi khela theme jaye modhuraate,
Tobu mone rekho.
Akdin jodi badha pore kaaje sharodo prate- mone rekho.
Jodi poriya mone
Chholochholo jol nai dakha daye noyonkone-
Tobu mone rekho.


Monday, May 9, 2011

150th birthday of the bard

As a Bengali, you grow up with Rabindranath and then he grows onto you. In Bengal we idolize Tagore, na na Rabindranath Thakur... No, not because we think he's god but because he found godliness in human beings. He was human, he made mistakes, he learnt from them. On the bard's 150th birthday, this is to thank him for letting us find comfort in him, in every imaginable human emotional situation. This Rabindra Jayanti, here's to a true human being, with all his blots and halos- here's to humanity, the biggest truth in the world!

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Lost and Found

A moment of pride and selfless happiness always comes with a lot of grief and regret. What have I done to myself? I used to challenge the guy who got through B.Stat. in ISI and then for Ph.D in Standford and am just another common achiever!! Well he was more, much much more intelligent than me but I'd it in me to achieve a lot more than I have. In retrospection, have I achieved anything? Is IGIDR an achievement? NO! NEVER! The entrance was beyond stupid, am stuck with people who are just average (may be count out a couple of them or 4). But I could have done better in life.. I'll do better in life!

P.S. Why have you always challenged my intellect knowingly or unknowingly, right from the moment I've known you?

Monday, April 18, 2011

Randomized

  • Sorry, nothing irritates me more than stupidity. So if you're intelligent and want to irritate me, you're unlucky!
  • All philosophy is great on paper but never in practice.
  • "In theory there is no difference between theory and practice, but in practice there is."
  • I can't be sweet and am shamelessly not sorry for that!

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Why am Taking the Jan Lokpal Bill Skeptically

Well for starters, let me say, in India we are so governed by emotions and sentiments that me saying a word against the Jan Lokpal Bill will make me either corrupt or a cynic. Am neither and I don't need to prove that. But here's why am not partying hard with Anna Hazare:

  1. JLB will deal with corruption alright, but what kind of corruption? Is only monetary exchange corruption? How about winning elections, rigging?
  2. They say that the accused will have to make good whatever losses the government suffered for a certain government official's corruption. Again my question is, how about rigging? How can you measure the loss that society/government suffered?
  3. People have been saying that such a powerful body is a threat to democracy: I don't think so (the purview of the Lokpal just being corruption). Well I don't support the fact that Nobel laureates, Bharat Ratna and their likes should be allowed to elect members for the Lokpal because of the simple reason that i) any country wanting to mess with India's sovereignty can do so very easily by awarding a Nobel or a Magasay award to someone ii) the government can trade Bharat Ratna and awards of likes for a candidate in the Lokpal. People's participation, and with some emphasis educated people's participation is absolutely mandatory for the members to remain apolitical candidates.
  4. Even if the members are apolitical, "Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely." I emphasize on this because the members once elected most probably won't be elected again. So they've every incentive to collude and plunge into rent seeking activities. In such a case, the "if a member found guilty..." wouldn't apply and the Lokpal itself will be a hub for corruption.
  5. The Lokayukts will take in complaints from across the society: there are 2 problems with this. i) Most people have petty complaints like the police towing their vehicle from parking or their passport not being made in the stipulated time. If we can't afford to wait 1-2 years for solutions of such things. So there would be no incentive to register a complaint with the Lokpal in such cases. The Lokpal then loses some of its objectives that it set out to do. ii) Even if say we complain for such things. There would be a minimum of 5,000 complaints in each Lokayukt daily. In such an event, I doubt if the Lokpal can stick to its ambitious time frames.
  6. If we think that passing a bill will stop corruption, we perhaps need to think again. Corruption is in the minds of people- cheating in exams is corruption. The popular thing we say about curbing cheating in exam is "Don't set a paper where cheating can help!" We need to find a similar solution at a bigger level. JLB is effective in treating the symptoms but we need a vaccination against the disease! The only way perhaps to achieve that is to ensure morality and decrease the competition for getting richer in the society. But then again, we have so much of poverty, it's tough!
  7. Last but far from being the least, personally I feel, "fast unto death" is an emotional blackmail which should not be encouraged in any form. Anna Hazare made the UPA accept what he demanded and now what he demanded has been found to have loopholes. At least we should fixate on what we want before creating such a drama! Sadly most of our country has not even read the JLB but has united against corruption. It's good that we've united against corruption but you should at least know what you are supporting!
Finally, stopping my skeptic pen, I hope this change, the passing of the JLB brings about a change in our minds and not just on papers. It's a step forward and anything greater than a zero would make us happy. But whether it will work or not is upto us- the onus lies on us to make or break what the bill shall be passed for. Together you and I can shape a modern India high on morals and ethics and that's the way. It'll take time but all good things are worth the wait. So shall we today take an oath to at least see the India we dream to live in when we die?

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Fast unto Death?

I wonder if we should support any "fast-unto-death". While I believe it's blackmailing the concerned people, when something is so freaking important what do you do? But then there can never be anything more important than human life. Perhaps we shouldn't support it just because human life is so important. But then again what about it when it actually tries to protect other many more lives? God, why can't there just be right or wrong? No I guess it's wrong! There should be other ways to protect human life and the loss of one most definitely will not ensure the safety of others!